Handling Difficult People

As Christians we have Satan as enemy and not our own brothers and sisters, yet, sometimes it is hard to see with spiritual eyes and we are under the impression that "my brother did that or my sister said that" and we are offended. See more about difficulties as such in the article below."Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms" (1 Peter 4:8-10)

An essential part of every work is getting along well with other people. We live in society, we were created to be social beings, we need each other, and we need to interact daily, to understand, respect and love one another. This was in fact the greatest commandment our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ left His disciples with, and He has left us all with. Yet it is easier said than done. We don’t always like each other; we have different tastes and interests, different personalities. Each one of us is unique, so it’s very hard to see things from the other person’s perspective. Yeah, we tend to be selfish and self-centered. But we weren’t made to act this way, were we?

The worst thing that can damage any relationship is criticism, criticizing each other. There are certain people who like to criticize others, to judge them. This can only result in hurt feelings and misunderstandings. These people can be referred to as "dragons". There are plenty of such creatures in most any communities. For instance, one such "beast" could be the "dog bird". The dog bird likes to be the eyes, the ears and the nose of the community’s leader, drawing the attention on certain things that he/she finds to be important and need immediate solving. In a church or religious community, such a person can be very annoying. In this case, the "dog bird" can also be super spiritual. This dog bird is likely to make even the leader of the church feel very unholy and defensive. He/she is the one who usually takes initiatives, saying things like: "The Lord has laid upon my heart to pray for spiritual revival". Who could argue that? These kinds of people, that can be called "dog birds", love to feel and appear to be more spiritual than the entire religious community.

Then comes the "wet blanket". Wet blankets are always in a bad mood, which can be contagious. They spread around shadows, destroy any kind of enthusiasm and are a true burden for any kind of work. Their motto is "no risk, no loss."

The opposite of the wet blanket is the entrepreneur. He is very enthusiastic, he is the first to bring new people to church and invite them home. Yet unfortunately, he/she is not only enthusiastic about bringing new people to church, but also about selling them stuff like vitamins, healthy products, and so on.

The boaster is always very sure of himself/herself, convinced that he/she is always right and all the other persons are wrong. He/she doesn’t like what other people have to say, and never hesitate to reaffirm the truthfulness of his/her position.

The moody banker uses money to show if he/she approves or disapproves of the decisions of the community. Sometimes they protest in silence, simply refusing to offer their gifts.

The nosy parker is the one who loves to tell other people what to do, and how to do it.

The target aimer avoids any kind of face to face conflict but chooses leaders of the community that he aims for in private conversations. He’s the one who usually says: "Be careful to pray for our pastor. He’s got some problems, you know…"

The "accountant" is the one who keeps all kinds of reports regarding what some leader does "not in the Spirit of Christ".

The garbage seller is the one who likes to discuss things that are not OK inside the church or the community.

Anyway, the main feature that is typical for a "dragon" is not what he/she says, but the way he/she says it. Even if these people have good intentions, doing what appears to be best in their own eyes, they don’t have the same attitude towards others. They are often in competition, not in collaboration with others. Their style is to focus rather on a small aspect than on the whole picture, which may result in digressions and lack of well-balance in the life of any community.

We as Christians are not to fight one against another, we are not to let the devil blind us in doing so; we have Satan as enemy and it is against his evil spirits that we have to fight! Therefore we have to keep an open eye on all our attitudes towards people and make sure we know who our real enemy is.
By Claudia Miclaus
Published: 11/24/2008